If you are a surgeon and a CEO of a yet to be launched/recently launched hospital, with a great vision about creating a truly world class hospital, here are some useful tips on how to fail!. If any of you dear readers, find any resemblance to any individual, hospital or real life situation let me assure you that it is just your imagination working overtime.
- Select a set of promoters who know nothing about healthcare, do not know the difference between a CT and an MRI and between an orthopaedician and a paediatrician (sounds the same eh!).
- Bedazzle them with your medical knowledge by constantly sprouting jargon. Display high levels of energy and commitment, while never compromising on golfing holidays.
- Commit an impossible deadline for starting the hospital operations and than as the deadline approaches, keep telling the promoters that the hospital will start on time. On the appointed day do tell everyone that you are ready to start except the damn hospital is not ready and everyone involved in its construction has really taken you for a ride.
- Blame all cost and time over runs on executives from the promoter’s parent company meddling around in the hospital’s affairs.
- Hire a bunch of doctors, who are medical school buddies and friends.
- Also hire a set of professionals, brighter than yourself, give them the freedom to perform and if they do better than yourself, ensure that they get the sack.
- Compromise on everything that you professed to believe in. While you go about doing this do tell all and sundry that these are things you are being forced to do by the promoters, who in any case know nothing about medicine.
- Hire a Chief Operating Officer, whose wattage is 1/100th of yourself and ensure that he is always there to take the rap for everything that goes wrong.
- Have your own surgical outcomes comparable to the worst surgeon in the hospital, however never forget to have a weekly lecture on all things under the sun including medical outcomes.
- Always have a sidekick and confidant along, to perform the surgeries and also to provide a handy shoulder in these difficult and sorrowful times.
- When the going gets really tough, get going, er bolt.
Pic courtesy www. flickr.com